For the Ones Who Carry It All 

Imposter Feelings, Over giving, and the Silent Strain on Coaches, Therapists, Educators & NGO Teams

This is for anyone in a role where you carry the emotional weight of others - seen or unseen.

They’re the ones holding space for others day after day. Coaches. Therapists. Educators. Social workers. NGO teams.

They sit with big emotions. They guide others through trauma, transitions, identity crises, and invisible wounds. They celebrate others' breakthroughs while often quietly questioning their own worth. And here’s the thing nobody says enough:

✨ Holding space doesn’t mean you don’t need space yourself.

But many professionals in service roles feel like they can’t take it - because if they pause someone might fall. And if someone falls, it must mean they weren’t good enough in the first place. That’s the silent logic of imposter feelings in caring professions.

1️⃣ The Invisible Pressure of Caring Roles

Over giving is often worn like a badge of honour. You care deeply, so you push through, stay late, answer one more message, go the extra emotional mile. But what happens when giving becomes the only way you measure your value?

That’s where the cycle starts.

You…

• Overwork out of guilt

• Downplay your impact

• Feel selfish for needing rest

• Absorb others’ stress or trauma and carry it home with you

• Feel like you always have to “model calm,” even when you’re falling apart inside

Most of the time, no one sees this. You look calm, capable, and collected.
But inside, there’s a voice whispering: You’re not doing enough. You’re not enough.

2️⃣ The Imposter Thoughts Behind the Curtain

Imposter feelings don’t always shout. Sometimes they sound like:

• “Other people know how to set better boundaries than I do.”

• “I should be able to handle this — it’s literally my job.”

• “If I slow down, I’ll let people down.”

• “It wasn’t that big of a deal — anyone in my position would have done the same.”

• “I don’t know enough to be supporting others like this.”

These aren’t just passing thoughts - they become internal narratives. Especially for those who carry personal histories of adversity, marginalization, or cultural pressure to be the one who “holds it all together.” And when your own story overlaps with those you support, it becomes even harder to set emotional boundaries.

This is empathic overload - and it’s real. You’re not imagining it and it doesn’t mean you’re weak.

3️⃣ You Were Never Meant to Carry It All

One of the hardest things about being the one others lean on is that people assume you’re fine. You’re the grounded one. The calm one. The coach. The counselor. The teacher. The strength.

But let’s be clear:

Caring for others doesn’t mean you don’t need care.
Holding space doesn’t mean you don’t deserve space.
Knowing the tools doesn’t mean you don’t struggle to use them in your own life.

You’re human too.

4️⃣ What You Can Do - Without Adding Another “Should”

This isn’t another self-care checklist but a reminder to step out of the shame spiral and take back a little space for yourself.

Start here:

🔹 Catch the imposter voice.
When you hear things like “I should be able to handle this,” or “I’m not experienced enough to be in this role,” pause and ask:
Where did that story come from? Whose expectations am I carrying?

🔹 Set micro-boundaries.
Even small ones, like turning off notifications, saying “not today,” or taking 5 minutes to ground signal to your system: I’m allowed to rest.

🔹 Use grounding tools.
Try mindfulness techniques, breathwork, or a visual anchor that calms your nervous system. They don’t take much time, but they change the tone of your day.

🔹 Track the moment of impact, not just output.
Yes, KPIs matter. But so do the things you can’t quantify: A breakthrough moment. A student who smiled. A parent who felt heard. These quiet wins are just as real and often, even more sustaining.

🔹 Stop waiting to “deserve” rest.
You don’t have to burn out to earn a break. You don’t need to save the world before you get to pause. You are allowed to care for others and yourself at the same time.

5️⃣ A Final Note - For Everyone Who Needs to Hear This

If no one’s asked how you’re doing lately - If you’ve been holding space for everyone else, while your own energy quietly frays at the edges - This is for you.

You’re not failing for feeling tired.
You’re not weak for needing rest.
You’re not less capable because you have doubts sometimes.

💬 You are doing work that matters - even on the days it doesn’t feel like enough.

And just because you carry it well, doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy. You’re allowed to slow down. To ask for space. To say, me too. Needing care doesn’t mean you’ve failed at being strong.

It means you’re human.

And that’s more than enough!

💬 Send me a message or book a free discovery call.